the word controller. what first pops into your head when you think of this word?
i think of video games.
but i also think of
controller: n. a person who directs and restrains
we grow up with the world at our fingertips in our video games, albeit a dramatized animated version of it. on the outside, under the rooftop of parental guidance and within the structure of our schools, we’ve created a zoo: a controlled environment/habitat to run around and be free in. at the same time, it’s shelter. decisions are suppressed to create only slight changes.
when i used to play video games (i occasionally still whip out mario 3) i could just hit “reset” if things didn’t go my way. in school i could make up for my mistakes by doing extra credit. i lived under the watchful eye of my parents and never had to cook or clean. responsibility was nearly nonexistent. life was almost perfect and i could keep everything in check.
i became programmed to get what i wanted and to quickly replace what i couldn’t have with something within my reach.
it’s the idea of being a big fish in a small pond. growing up in alexandria, louisiana and attending alexandria senior high school, i had a small pocket of water to swim around. i didn’t have a massive ocean. as far as the eye could see is what I had. there weren’t many unknowns.
the thing that happens whenever you leave school entirely though is, the realm itself in which possibility exists, expands. opportunity starts to become more like a needle in a haystack. before, we lived in a box where everything that we needed was at hand. now, living in the big bad world, we have to create our own sustainability. we have to acclimate to being a forage fish in the ocean. there’s no more security, no more living inside of a structure. our bodies are all that’s left to control.
our main weakness, however, is human emotion. it’s like fusion: an immensely powerful and unpredictable source of energy. as we keep trying to control this power, we inadvertently create disaster.
we have to accept that people will always let us down. it’s inevitable. their hearts are the one thing that will always be beyond our grasp. what’s great about people though is that they are not us. their failures are not our own. therefore, we should only set expectations for ourselves. after all, the only bar we should be reaching for is the one above our heads. we can’t control others, but we can give them a sense of direction. if they want to reach for the same bar, let them…but don’t force their hand. they are their own person.
unless of course you’re paying them to do a job. that’s called responsibility… ;)
be light, be love.